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So Letterkenny won’t play right now on Hulu… I know rural people problems…

Today we actually discussed being a more sustainable family. That means raising our own meat on our little half acre. I’ve been throwing around the idea of raising pheasants for a few months now, but today…. Today Rooster got in the same page.

Rooster suggested raising a hog for meat!!! Now on one hand I do believe that he will be upset with me for butchering his pet hog… but in the other hand I think he is starting to realize how much we actually spend on meat for the family. And is genuinely starting to think ahead of what could come…

I’m not suggesting impending doom by any means, but if we have the means why not raise what we eat? Hunt what we eat? Seriously if we all looked at our food and said could I raise this maybe we would be the better for it.

I’m not trying to persuade a life of fear by any means but I do worry about the what if’s. Always have. Probably always will. Maybe I always have…

I think being laid off for 8 months made me realize how little we need, and how much we can gain from growing our own food. Rooster wasn’t as lucky as me to be laid off for so long, but I can tell you I had VERY VERY little waste from the garden this year. I had time to can like it was my job…

And I realize I should have quit. Turned this into a more sustainable living and just quit the day to day stress of daily bullshit. Shoulda woulda coulda… looking back now I coulda take. The 25k work was offering to leave, put it towards the house, refinanced and been better off, but fear made me stay. I’ve been in one place for almost 20 years now. Half of my life in a caged cell of 7 to 3… ugh. Shoulda, woulda and coulda….

I’ve been considering meat birds since we got chickens the first go around… but then we butchered those roosters together and thought I couldn’t… but now I see I can with the right mind set. To feed our boys. To live more sustainably… to not buy into the demon of Walmart and the like.

There was a time in my life I thought it was necessary to make ends meet to make my son’s baby food… but that is the past. This new life with Rooster I feel comfortable and secure. That I don’t want for anything. I didn’t have that before. The previous life held nothing but bitterness and resentment because I was the sole provider. This life is 50/50, and friends I cannot tell you what a difference that is. I feel like I’m me. I can be me. I’m supported to be ME. It’s unreal. It’s like a dream, and I never want to wake up.

With all of that said…. I would love more than half an acre so we can be more sustainable and have everything we need in one place, that we raised/grew. This year I’m getting more creative with my gardening plans… grow only what we eat. I should say what we ALL eat. garlic. Tomatoes. Onions. Potatoes. Herbs. It’s all part of it right? Realizing what you really eat, and what you Really need.

I went out hunting this year with rooster for the first time ever… before I only tracked dad’s deer and watched hunting videos 24/7, knew the jargon and knew the how to. I know a lot of potentially useless information, but critter knowledge and hunting seems to be a deeply rooted knowledge that I enjoy… maybe that goes back to the gypsy blood. I don’t know.

Hunting with Rooster had so many perks. Enjoying the silence together. Experiencing the excitement and failure together. Learning together is an awesome thing.

I know that I am rambling, and I blame that on emotion and worry….

Life is what you make it. Simple or hard. Stressed or easy. Sustainable or purchased. When you come to realize that together is a much better option in the grand scheme of things… all life is sustainable.

In each other we support the others weakness.. I am by definition a daddy’s girl, and no matter how hard I try there is no denying that. This past year proved that. That’s a blog for another day I suppose… tomorrow is work, supper, boys homework, gather eggs, feed the chickens and sweep the carpet… a normal, simple day. And the dread that I shoulda woulda coulda walked away from something holding me back….

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